


Broken

by jxtxadore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, tags will be added as needed, there isn't anything explicit in the rape area
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:10:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2616284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxtxadore/pseuds/jxtxadore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione was betrayed by the one man who was supposed to love her more than anything. She doesn't know what to do, where to go, immedately.<br/>But, after she did figure it out, she never left. She tried to say it was just security, but if anyone were to look at the two, they would know that it wasn't because of security. It was something much more profound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is the first two from the FF account that I have abandoned. This has not really been updated, thus there may be spelling errors, continuity errors, grammar errors, and much more. The first chapter will most likely never be updated.  
> I will also be putting Hermione at about 24.   
> I also did some fiddling with time, for Sirius, and he is going to be twenty six years. In short terms, as I'll go into it later, Sirius was cleared of all legalities in regards to Peter Pettigrew, and was then deaged, through magic I did not specify.

As per the usual, Hermione and Sirius were cleaning out the Black family house. With the magical pests that had taken up residence in the place, they had decided that magic might become a bit of an issue.   
  
"How much longer are we going to work for today?" Sirius would never admit that he did enjoy speaking with Hermione, even if it involved cleaning.  
  
"I think the rest of the day."  
  
"Bloody hell..." They spent another hour cleaning, each of them caught up in their own thoughts.  
  
"Sirius?" he didn't answer. " Sirius!" Hermione said, again, louder.  
  
"Hm?" He replied.  
  
"Would you please tell me a story? It's too quiet." It was a request She rarely made, Choosing instead to reveal in the peace, in the quiet.  
  
"Of course. What story?"  
  
"I don't really mind which."   
  
"Alright. About… seven years ago? Yes, some were around there, my godson, Harry Potter, found out that his mind was connected to the 'dark lord's' mind. Even now, people are afraid to say his name. The lord had become aware of the connection, and he used it to his advantage. He started to implant images into Harry's mind, at night. One time, it was Mr. Weasly being attacked by Nagini. Voldemort implanted himself torturing… me into Harry's mind. Harry immediately went to the department of mysteries, and to the Room of Prophecies. He got his and Voldemort's shared prophecy, and went to the arch room. In that room, Harry and I dueled Lucius, though it was Bellatrix who got me into the arch.  
  
"The arch is very tempermental. Some people, it kills. Others, it maims." He turned to Hermione, who was cleaning the floor on her hand and knees, and lifted up the hem of his white button down shit. It was the first time that anyone could see it, a scar that ran up his stomach, which was indented, pink, and slightly shinny from a piece of flesh that had been ripped from him. Sirius hadn't shown anyone since coming back, yet this felt alright to him. "Hermione… Look."  
  
She looked up, still on her hands and knees, and gasped. She couldn't help but run over, taking off her gloves, as not to damage him anymore, as tears filled her eyes. Through the war, she had managed to keep her sensitivity to horrid things such as this.  
  
"Can I…?" Sirius nodded, pain clear on his face Not physical, but emotional. As light as a feather, she went over his scar, which was about five inches wide, and almost twelve inches long. After a few minuets, she looked back to his face, tears still pooling in her eyes.  
  
"Oh Sirius…" She gave him a light kiss on his lips, unexpected to both. At the same time, they both drew in a shaky breath.   
  
"Please…don't feel bad for me. Never do that. I couldn't stand it. And don't tell anyone. You are the only one who knows. Keep it that way. Please." His voice was rough, though noticeably steady. Or, rather, steady enough.  
  
"Of course. I won't breath a word of this to anyone."  
  
"Thank you. Now, what do you think we should do about this?" they had wrapped their arms around each other, with Sirius' shirt partly up. Hermione flinched away from him, unintentionally. She was over what had happened, physically, but Mentally, she was far from okay.  
  
"Sirius? Hermione? Were are you? I've come to help!" Naturally, they both recognized the voice. Just as Ron walked in, Sirius pulled down his shirt. Ron didn't seem to even see it.  
  
"Please excuse me," Hermione said, quickly exiting the room, with no lack of vigor.  
  
"Continue there." Sirius didn't continue any further, pointing to the drapes that he had been working on, and then followed Hermione out.  
  
In the bathroom, Hermione was crying, in pain, embarrassment, hate…. She flashed back to two years ago. Before she had moved into Sirius' home, Hermione and Ron had gotten together. It had been much too much of a situation where they were both alive, but they didn't know what else was. They wanted the past, with their friends there. They wanted familiar. Almost naturally, they clung to one another, unwilling to let the other go.  
  
Even still, Hermione had wanted to wait until they were married, like she'd always been taught at church, and from her parents.   
  
Ron didn't.  
  
He hadn't understood that she wanted to save her virginity until the night that they were legally married, bound by magic and by law.  
  
He hadn't understood no.  
  
The moment she was able to, the moment he had passed out, Hermione apperated to the first place that she knew she would be safe. Her mind was more than a little ravaged. Ron was an idiot,  yes, but she did love him more than anyrhing, at this time. He would listen to her when it was important... at least, that was what she had thought.  
She went to the only place that would believe her, the only place that she could go, without drama, where she could heal without being disturbed; Sirius' house. He had been out at the time, something she hadn't counted upon, and her mind wasn't able to remember a single spell that would help. So, she fell asleep on the stairs, the snow collecting around her crumpled form, wrapped in the blanket she had managed to grab from the sofa. It was small, mostly for decoration, but it was all she had managed.  
  
Sirius came home almost two hours later, thinking of what he was going to do that night, when he found the witch on his doorstep, asleep.  
  
Instead of waking her, Sirius picked her up, careful were he touched her. He had no idea what had happened, but if she was here, he knew that something wasn't alright with her. If she came here, she was in trouble. Though they had rarely talked, he had tried to impress into each child how willing he was to protect them.  
  
She was bleeding slowly out of one her cheeks, as well as the insides of her thighs, and different fluids were mingling with her blood.  
  
"Kreature!" Sirius yelled quietly, the elf appearing Immediately. "Draw a warm bath quickly, and get a clean shirt from my closet." Kreature disaperated with a Pop, and nearly immediately, Sirius heard the water running.  
  
Quickly but carefully, Sirius got her to the bathroom, and let the blanket fall from her body. Weakly, she tried to grab it, but failed to keep it on her. She slipped into the tub, some of the fluids coming off her immediately. A soft rag was set on the side of the tub, as normal, and Sirius quickly dipped it into the water, and slowly cleaned her wounds, casting a heating, and healing, charm over her.  As soon as she was devoid of any fluid, Sirius carefully lifted her out, and dressed her.  
  
"Kreature," Sirius said, the elf appearing quickly.  
  
"Yes, Master?" Kreature said.  
  
"Ready my chambers for Miss Granger, and make sure to have a warm broth ready for her at all times." Sirius didn't know how soon she would wake, after all.   
  
"Yes, Master." Kreature vanished quickly.  
  
"S-Sirius?" Hermione started to say.  
  
"Shh, Shh, love, hush. You need to conserve your energy, alright?"  
  
"It was Ron." Hermione managed, then fell into unconsciousness again.  
  
One day passed.  
  
Then another.  
  
On the third day, Hermione awoke.  
  
"Kreature!" Sirius called the elf, who came up with the broth immediately. "Yes. Good. On the table, Kreature. You can go for now." Kreature was gone.  
  
"Sirius?" Hermione croaked, her voice dry. Sirius helped her up, to a sitting position , and let her hold onto his hand, if awkwardly.   
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes, Sirius, I am. Thank you."  
  
"Wait." Sirius sat next to her on the bed, with broth in hand, and helped her drink it, which she drank all of.  
  
"I'm still hungry," She said, her voice marginally better.  
  
"Kreature! Please prepare a large supper for miss Granger here, please."  
  
"Of course, Master, Lady."  
  
"Hermione, I do not mean to be cruel about it, but what happened?" She was silent for some time.  
  
"Ron was Ron. He wanted what he wanted, and found what he wanted in me. It was just not pleasant. Please do not tell anyone. Don't go to him. Don't go to Harry. Please. No one will believe me. In school, the only reason we stayed friends was because I would give, and not tell the head master, and then, when we were hunting Horcruxes, I just kept my mouth shut. Keep all the Weasly and Potters out of this, and, well, every one. Please." Hermione knew it was natural for women to do this, after being sexually assaulted,  yet she didn't want to see anyone. Even as she thought it, she pulled her hand away from Sirius.  
  
"Alright. I will. Why did you come here though, out of everywhere else?"  
  
"I felt the safest here." She was looking him straight in the eyes.  
  
"Why?" Sirius was looking back, hard. He wasn't that unwilling to have her here, of course, but he wasn't sure why she came here. She had always been the least responsive to him.  
  
"Because you are here." It took all of Hermione's will not to break eye contact.  
  
"Why does that matter?" Hermione's will broke, at that question.  
  
"Because I can trust you. Please stop. I'm not strong enough to do this." Immediately,  he backed off, moving back to the chair even.  
  
"Alright," He said, voice quite. "I will wait. For how ever long it takes, I will wait."  
  
•●•●•●•  
  
Hermione heard someone come into the bathroom, and saw Sirius walk in, and crouch down next to her.  
  
"Hermione. Are you alright?" his large, beautiful eyes looked into hers.  
  
"No, I'm bloody well not alright!" She wished she could help the snapping, but she really couldn't.   
  
"Love," He said, her tears hitting them both unaware. "Have you seen Ron since that night?" She shook her head, bowing it again. Though she often strove for truth, she noted, somewhere in her mind, that finding hers was a path she wouldn't be able to take alone. "I can tell him to go, if you want me to."  
  
"Yes, please." It was soft, but she hoped her tone gave across what she wished.  
  
"Of course. When will you be ready to come down?"  
  
"I don't know. But Sirius?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Can I sleep in your room tonight?"  
  
"Yes..." being more than a little surprised,  he took a moment to answer the simple question.  
  
"Thank you." **  
  
•○•●•○•  
  
** "Ron," Sirius started.  
  
"Yeah?" He really didn't seemed to have done a single thing, in their absence.   
  
"We really don't need your help. At all."   
  
"Really? Thought you could use the company..." he started, but Sirius broke him off.  
  
"Ron, we don't need your help. Please don't come back."  
  
"Do you both not want me here?" Though a simple question, Sirius took a moment to reply. If Hermione didn't want him here, did he?  
  
"We don't want you here," Sirius confirmed. Ron felt his eyes widen just slightly.   
  
"Can you just... Tell her that I still love her? Please?" Sirius nodded, but he had no intention to.   
  
"Good bye, Ron."

"Kreature, supper was good," Hermione said, used to him being nice to her now.

"Thank you, mistress. Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Yes, please. White." She took a sip as soon as she was handed the drink, with a small smile on her lips. She always had prefered white, and she didn't mind the fact that she had to throw all the red wine off the top of the flat, when she had moved in. In fact, Ron had been drunk due to red wine, when he had done what he had done to her.

Sirius got up and checked the time.

"Seven o'clock. I Think that i will go read," Sirius said to Hermione, getting up and stretching.

"Alright. I'm going to go bathe." Sirius nodded, and walked out, quick. He seemed to have a growing... problem, thinking of Hermione laying in his bed, in her nightgown, perhaps a tee shirt and a pair of simple shorts.

"Kreature." The elf appeared. "Please go change the linens on my bed."

"Of course, Master." The elf scurried off. Sirius went to the second bathroom, to take care of his now obvious problem. It was one that was growing with every second that Sirius thought about Hermione on his bed, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

 

 

>   
>  2 years ago.

It wasn't the first time that Sirius and Hermione had shared a meal, but it was most definitely the most personal. The dish was eaten off one plate, and used chop-sticks. Hermione, having used Chop-sticks, had been eating with ease. Sirius had been having much more trouble. Laughing, Hermione took them out of his grasp, and showed him how to do it. she placed one in his hand, followed by the other. He mastered it easily. The table was too wide for either of them to lean over it, so they sat side- by- side.

Their arms had brushed innumerable times throughout the night, but neither of them could ignore it. They became aware of it more so towards the end, noting that they had been moving closer and closer throughout the evening.

It reached a peak when Hermione was studying hid long, dark, curly hair. Sirius had, of course, felt her breath on his ear, I mean, who wouldn't? Here was this beautiful twenty-two year old woman, sitting right next to him, eating from the same plate as him, even.

Sirius turned his face to her, to talk better, and found his face centimeters from hers, every detail in sharp relief, her eyes the most prominent. Without thinking, Sirius touched his lips to hers, them kissing for a moment. Hermione responded extremely well, before they broke it at the same moment.

"Excuse me, Hermione," Sirius said, finding himself, like Hermione, almost uncomfortably aroused at the thought of kissing her.

"Of course." They both left, to go deal with their own problems, thinking of each other, but not knowing the other was thinking of them as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first chapter that I am rewriting. I can only say that this is what you get when you annoy me this much, and this is the best case scenario. I don't know how often this will be updated, but I have the total of the story ready to be rewrote. If you happen to find this story on FF. net, you will find that there is a vast change in this, though the story line is mostly the same.

When asked, Hermione would say that showers could normally chase away feelings of displeasure, be them physical or mental. Normally, they were mental issues. She had every justification, after the war, to have them. They were more than just scars of the physical time.  Her mind had been horribly pushed through, and it took more than a little bit of her thoughts to hold it under control sometimes. 

 

Now, with the water running over her, she was having issues hearing her mind. Thoughts of why, and how. It didn’t make sense to her, why he had chosen her. Her body was now tarnished, even if some of the scars had faded. It wasn’t as bad as a muggle word, no, but there was worse than that. As she looked down her body, she couldn’t see just why. The swells were small, her body too lankey, in her opinion, even still, as she had filled out. There were some things that had changed, in her life, but her insecurities were the same, no matter what. Her eyes closed, and she held in a small sob, biting her lip. How could she manage to measure up?

 

She knew he had been with many other woman. That thought could be undisputed. What could she bring to the table that they wouldn’t be able to? She didn’t know anything special, her oral sex was naught, her actual sex had only been tinged with the taking and pure hate of a person who was being degraded to the point of death. There were women with bigger breasts than her, there were women with smaller waists and wider hips… And what could she bring? The fact was, she was unable to bring anything new to the table, anything that Sirius was new to. He had years, ages, to have been experienced with it, and the perfect night for her, was just having a round of lovemaking, a book, some cuddling… And nothing at all sexual. Surely he wouldn't like that. 

 

The thoughts were clouding, taking over her mind, until she could feel nothing but pain and pressure in her head. It pricked at her eyes, and she felt the tears sliding down her cheeks, mixing with the hot water with ease. Dammit all, all of it to hell. She hated these feelings, this disgust with her own damn body, the feeling of dislike and dirt over her body. How could she feel clean? She didn’t. She didn’t even want to try, right now. So, Hermione let the tears fall from her cheeks, and she looked at the floor, leaning against the wall, trying to find it in her to stop. 

 

As soon as she had managed to stop crying, she managed to go to her bedroom, a towel wrapped around her chest, hanging down to her thighs, but she didn’t notice Sirius behind her. He didn’t let her, and stayed more than a few steps behind her, something in him letting him know that there was a time and a place to make a move, and this was not it. She was disturbed for some reason, and he wasn’t going to press it. 

 

Naturally, it was then that he remembered that, when he had been out that day, he had gotten her a lotion, one he thought she may like. It was a honey and flower scent, made with mostly natural ingredients. He had liked it, and if she didn’t want it, he would most likely take it. That was only if she didn’t, though. It didn’t take the man too long ot find it, thankfully, and he was back in a few moments, moving to knock on her door. 

 

Sirius heard the falling of something, and he was quick to push the door open, worried that she had hurt herself. Of course, when he walked in, there was nothing of the kind, and she was just on the floor, having tripped over a shoe. Her towel was pulled from her body, and there was a deep blush on her cheeks. He didn’t know how to react, so he merely looked away. He didn’t have something to drape over her, and though he didn’t have a blush on his cheeks, he felt blood rushing to another place, One that he would hope didn’t make a very large dent in his fabic. It was terribly embarrassing, after all. 

  
The man waited until he knew she was up, and she cleared her throat, before looking back at her. She was at least covered, all of her private spots once again. 

 

“I thought that you might like this,” he said, offering the lotion out to her. She smiled, seeing it, and merlin, it was a beautiful smile. So nice and kind, and so, so perfect to see on her face. Her kind eyes moved from it, to him, after she had taken it. 

 

“Thank you, Sirius.” 

 

“Course, Hermione.” He smiled at her, in return, and let go of the tube, at last. “I hope you like it. I couldn’t help but think of you, when I saw it. You always do smell like honey.” There was a touch of surprise on Hermione’s face, when she looked up, upon hearing that. He had noticed her scent? Really? But, she smiled a little, trying to hide it behind her long curls, when she looked down for a moment. 

 

“I’ll be sure to use it,” She softly said, and uncapped it, taking a sniff of it. “And still, Thank you.” Her tead tilted back, to look him in the eyes, her curls moving over her shoulders, everything just looking perfectly beautiful with it. After a moment, Sirius leant forward, and kissed her cheek, gently. The action really did startle them both, Hermione at the fact she completely enjoyed the touch of his lips, and the fact that it was just so kind, and Sirius for the fact he was not slapped right away. He wasn’t going to claim he didn’t deserve that, as it was something that had come out of nowhere.

 

Yet, does beauty not deserve to be kissed, to be held, to be admired? Why should they not both have the feelings of love, and of beautiful touches?

 

When Sirius pulled back, Hermione was looking up at him, still, certainly just as beautiful as before he had leant forward and kissed her. The beauty and the buds of love that shined though were enough to make even the man smile, and he licked his lips, before looking away, taking a breath.

 

“I will see you in a few minutes, then? If you still wish to sleep in my bed.” The touching of skin and lips was certainly something to go off, and he assumed that she did, but knowing her delicate situation, it was better to ask, instead of presume. God he hoped she didn’t think he wanted to just sleep with her, as he did in his high school years. He really, honestly just wanted to sleep next to her, something he had not felt about a woman in years. Her beauty, her curls… 

  
“Yes. I’ll be in there.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not pressure for continuing of updates, nor for the link of the other story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit it, this is starting to turn to the type of story I'd read, perhaps if this was a friend writing it. 
> 
> prompts are welcome, or points you may want me to expand on. I may be willing to write another story, and if you want a ship in this, I can certainly try and add that in.

When the man had left, her breath came into her body in a fast rush, unable to help the soft noise it made, whistling down her throat. She quickly pulled the towel tighter to her body, unable to help the feelings of nerves that encapsulated her body. The thoughts that had just so recently been plaguing her mind were gone, now replaced with thoughts of how quickly she would be able to get dressed, but still keep her breath. Above all, there was one overlying thought in her mind. 

 

What had I just gotten myself into? 

 

After a few moments, she knocked on his door, and walked in. The first sight she was greeted with was Sirius’s back. It didn’t look too bad, if she had to admit it, a couple small scars, but nothing too much. He then turned around, his dark curls bouncing just the slightest bit, and she still was not desensitized to the terrible scar running over his stomach. She bit her lip, however, holding in the gasp she so wished to let go. That much would be the wrong reaction, really, and she wasn’t wanting to let Sirius feel terrible for something that he had no say in. 

 

“Hi,” She said, and smiled for just a moment at him. 

 

“Come in,” He said, moving aside, allowing her into the room. When they had started with the cleaning, the first two rooms to be thoroughly cleaned had been her room and his, for a good reason. She remembered when she had come when she was seventeen, and she’d seen the horrible, and terrible clashing of the ornate and the crash of the posters. It took some work to find a way to get out of the permanent sticking charms, yet that was just worked through with the ease of removing the wallpaper. Or, whatever ease there is with removing wall paper. 

 

Her own room had been his mother’s, who had made sure that Kreature had cleaned the room daily. Hermione changed most of the room up, unwilling to be with that terrible scheme. She’d made it hers, and she’d only allowed both Kreature and Sirius into the room a few times. Why should she allow people into her place of privacy, now? She’d had something terrible happen like that before, and this wasn’t what she wanted. No more invasions, she would make sure of it. 

 

"Are you just going to stand there all night?” His words were a bit of a tease, but he was smiling when he said it. With a small blush, she moved into the room, pulling the nightgown a little tighter around her. It was something that complimented, let some of her body to the imagination, but something that had been charmed to ensure that she would be able to hex anyone that tried to take it off her without her word. It was something she’d made, herself, and though she wasn’t going to sell it by any means, it was enough for her to tell her friends about the simple charm. 

 

She moved, after he motioned with a hand to the bed. He wasn’t going to press her into the bed, but let her move of her own violation. That was enough to make her smiled, look down for a moment, and then lay down on the bed. Or, she sat down, looking at the bed spread. She swallowed, and then moved under it, just as Sirius did, joining her in the comforter. 

 

“May I hold you, Hermione?” His voice was close to her, and she looked behind her, her frizzy hair getting in the way slightly. There was a nod, she laid down proper, and she felt his arms wrap around her. They then tightened, and she felt that terrible scar against her back. Ideas moved around her mind, of potential ways to help it grow back, but it was all moved to the wayside when she felt his lips move to kiss her neck, on the side. Everything went blank, feeling the soft skin. She shivered, and moved her arms over his, as they were around her waist. 

 

Hermione couldn’t help the tapping, which happened to be on his hand.    
  
"Just relax, Hermione. I won't hurt you. you know that, right?" His words, so very new, startled into her into a tight tense, and he quickly moved the arm that would keep her there up, moivng her hair back, so he’d be able to speak into her ear softly.    
  
"Yes, Sirius, I do."   
  
"If I was hurting you and you told me to stop, would I?" Her lip was bit by her upper teeth.    
  
"Yes."   
  
"Then why are you worrying?" The question left her stumbling. Why was she worrying? The man that was holding her was kind. He’d proven that by the two years they’d lived together. He’d done some things that, though not terrible, had been an issue with her, and after a bit of a question over it, he’d realised just how much it annoyed her. It was silly simple things, and though he teased her with doing it occasionally, he often accompanied her odd habits now. Such as assuring the front door was nearly always locked, and certainly during the night. Washing the pans a very specific way. Having to make sure they all stacked proper, for they didn’t have enough space as Sirius made it seem. 

 

Why was she worrying? Perhaps because the only other man she had ever opened her heart to, he had taken it, and fucked with it. She didn’t know how to tell Sirius, but thankfully, she didn’t have to. She could feel his whiskers as they moved against her neck, gentle, and enough to make her calm down. She didn’t know why she was worried, but it was so small, she was able to push it out of her head soon enough that it was hardly there. She didn’t even need to worry over it, as she was sure that Sirius was going to ensure her safety. If not, she did have her hexed nightgown. 

 

Her eyelids grew heavy, and she took a deep breath, before moving back into the solid, and warm body behind her. She didn’t know how the morning would go, but she hoped she would wake with his arms still around her, and hopefully calmer than she had been in the last two years, as she normally would wake in a shout, something that she’d told Sirius to only worry over if it was his name she was calling. Generally, nothing akin to that had happened, though she’d called a few other names. 

  
She let those thoughts go, however, unable to let them worry her too much, and she let dreams claim her. Dreams that were uneventful for the first time in years. 


	4. Chapter 4

When morning encroached, Hermione was loathe to wake. Her dream was not anything very specific, but it was so perfect. Arms had been around her, ones she could still feel around her. A bit of scruff through her shirt, and so much warmth surrounding her. It was a feeling that she’d never want to let go, an experience that was pure and beautiful.

But, she shifted, and a few things pressed into her mind.

First, there was something very indecent, but, if it was presented correctly, something very delectable, pressing ot her backside.

Second, the arms around her weren’t very phantom, and were very solid, around her torso.

And lastly, she wasn’t dreaming, but that she had though these thoughts about Sirius, who she was with, and who was holding her. Her instinct wasn’t telling her to get up and run, however. Instinct was telling her to stay in his arms, that he wasn’t using her, that she was safe. Even if there was something very masculine pressing into her arse.

Her thoughts were slowly changing, allowing her to admire the ability she was showing, letting Sirius stay where he was, and letting his body stay against hers. It felt… Right.

“Good morning,” Sirius murmured against her, enough to make her realize she wasn’t the only one awake. She stiffened, not having been aware that he had waken.

“Good morning,” She replied, softly. “How did you sleep?”

“Well, thank you.”

“Good…” She looked at the wall, before her eyes moved down to her waist, seeing his arms around her.

“Are you alright with this?” He asked, and his hand splayed over her stomach.

“Yes, I am,” SHe started, and tried to continue. “I just…” Her words were interrupted, by a call.

“Sirius? Hermione?” His words were loud, reaching up from the first floor to the third.

“Just a minute, Harry,” Sirius called back down, after pulling away from Hermione. He paused, and kissed her neck, before getting up. “You should go to your room, and get ready. I don’t know how Harry will…” The sentence was cut off by the other hearing some feet running up, and the two instantly pulled away from each other, which ended with Sirius falling out of his own bed. It wasn’t as large as they had thought, after all.

“Hey!” Sirius heard the call, and then he saw Harry in the doorway.

“So,” Sirius said, looking at the younger, as he stood. The Scar was enough to make Harry’s eyes move open, but then he realized that it was just another relic of the war they had all fought. The only difference was that Sirius had lived through two, not one of the wars. That was not too much, he was strong enough, wasn’t he?

“Uh… Hello,’ hermione said, blushing a little, and pulling the covers over her.

“Hi,” He said, looking between the two.

“Since we’ve all said hi, now,” Sirius said, looking at the others, and moved to grab a button up shirt, the only he had, now. “I think it’s time for breakfast, no?”

The other two nodded, and Hermione at last got up. She was grateful to herself for having worn something that managed to cover her most intimate parts. She managed to hurry to her room, and dressed into a sundress, one that covered some of her scars, and made her look just presentable enough. Her frizzy hair was pulled back into a tie, and she took a breath, as she watched the strands pulled tightly back. A deep breath, and harry came into the room, unbeknownst to her. Her mind was just too wrapped in on itself to notice.

“Hermione?” Harry asked, moving over to his friend, and putting his hand on her shoulder. She jumped, and spun around to face him, her eyes wide. It took a moment for the fear to pass through her, and she sighed, looking at him.

“Harry. I’m sorry.” Her eyes moved from the side, to look at him, her brows pressed together.

“What happened between you and Ron?” He asked, unable to help the bluntness. As he spoke, a movement caught hermione’s eye, and she saw Ginny in the doorway, mostly hidden. The situation reminded her of their sixth year, when they had all had to stay with Sirius, when he was still a criminal.

“He raped me,” she managed, softer than a brush of wind. Her face was to Ginny, but her gaze was turned inward, and before she knew what was really happening, Harry had his arms around her, keeping her tight to his strong shoulders. There was a moment where she felt secure, and her face pressed to his neck, trying to take a deep breath, in, then out.

“We’re here,” Harry murmured. “Don’t worry.” After a moment, Hermione felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she looked to see Ginny. She bit her lip, and moved to hold the other, feeling their arms around her, trying to keep her sane, keep her comforted.

“It’s alright,” she heard, and took a deep breath.

“We need to… need to get some tea, yeah? Sirius is waiting.” She pulled away, and smiled at the two, so very happy that there was nothing that they would be willing to judge her on.

“We should,” Harry agreed, and pulled away, and Ginny took Hermione’s hand, and took them to down to the kitchen.

When Sirius saw them all, he looked at his new love, a question on his lips, and she nodded. A bite to her lip, and she let go of Ginny’s hand, before moving to curl into a chair. This was something she would be able to live with, she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's have those comments roll in! Even if they're just a 'nice' or a 'good'! Come on, people! More Comments, faster updates!


	5. Chapter 5

Having tea in silence wasn’t something that could happen in the Black household, not if it was a quiet one. Hermione hadn’t been expecting it to, by any means, and the first person to break it was Ginny. 

“Hermione, would you like to come shop with me?” The question wasn’t exactly unwarranted, and Hermione smiled some.

“Yes, I’d love to.” Her eyes moved to the younger, watching her with a little bit of interest. They hadn’t been shopping for a few months, and it always came with a surprise. It was their code, in some ways, to share a new interest with the other. It led to anonymity, being in a public place, but no one listening. The drone of conversation usually masked the secrets shared. 

Yet, there was a moment more, and Ginny’s face turned a bit pale, and she rushed from the room. Harry stood, nervous, his eyes wide, and then a realization seemed to dawn. 

“I’ll be right back,” Harry said, and quickly followed her to the restroom. Sirius met Hermione’s eyes, showing concern, and nerves about what what happening. Hermione swallowed down her worry, and stood, her tea moving to the table to sit down for a moment. Not knowing what to do, Hermione stood, and paced in a circle for a moment, until she felt arms move around her waist. A deep voice reverberated through her chest, and she pressed back into Sirius’s arms, after a moment. 

“They’re going to be fine,” He assured, and moved his lips to her temple for a moment. “You don’t need to worry.” 

“I will anyway,” was her firm reply. “I was there as Harry grew, I watched Ginny grow…” She took a breath, even still. “She’ll be fine,” she then whispered, repeating the words that Sirius had just offered her moments ago. 

It took just a few moments until the other two were back, and Hermione smiled at Ginny, and moved away from Sirius, after a moment. 

“Are you alright?” Hermione asked, and there was a nod from the youngest of the group, and a wink. That was the most that it took, and Hermione knew that she was going to find out about it as soon as they left. 

It set her nerves alight, to know that there was some new morsel of knowledge that she may get. Although, she didn’t want to let the other man in the room know, so she offered a small smile, and she looked placated. There was a bit more conversation to happen, talk of how long Hermione and Sirius had been together, which was just the last night, then what would happen, if they’d had sex, as a tease from Ginny, many things. The tea was finished soon enough, and Ginny started to urge Hermione, asking again and again for them to leave, just as though she had something to tell her, or somewhere to go. She was eager enough, and Hermione couldn't help a small smile. 

“I suppose we should go,” Hermione at last relented. 

“Finally!” Ginny said, and took her hand, though Hermione laughed a little. 

“Go give your husband a kiss,” She instructed the youngest, and it was greeted by an eye roll. But, she did, moving to wrap her arms around Harry, and Harry pulled her closer, a sound kiss occurring. Not that Hermione was watching them, but she was with Sirius. Her arms were around his waist, and he was able to feel the mixture of nerves and security she was exuding. She licked her lips, and looked up at him, to be greeted with a warm smile. 

“Don’t stay out too long, love,” He murmured, his own arms crossing over hers, to rest on her lower back. 

“I won’t. Be back in time for dinner, promise.” She offered a half smile, and he knew another reason she was nervous 

“Yes, you will,” Sirius confirmed. “And I’ll be here, waiting for you, with a kiss on my lips.” He smiled at her, and rested their foreheads together for a few moments, before rolling his face down just a little, to kiss her properly. She pressed closer, and then sighed after the kiss, her eyes still closed. A nod, and she pulled away.

“Yeah, I will.”

She smiled, and moved her hand to Sirius’, and gave it a small squeeze. 

It was soon that Ginny and her left, and they were instantly at a muggle store, where the two went about and started to shop. 

“Alright,” Hermione said, as soon as they were in the store. “What’s the secret you’re hiding?”

“I don’t know what in the world you’re talking about,” she primly replied. 

“Bullocks,” Hermione replied, and moved to stand between Ginny and the rack. “What is it?” 

“... Promise not to tell my mum?”

“Obviously.”

“Alright.” Ginny took a breath, and then looked up. “I’m pregnant. 

“What? Really?” 

“Yeah. I’ve missed two cycles, and the tests have all been positive.” 

“Oh my god, Ginny, that’s wonderful!” Ginny laughed a little, and Hermione grabbed her hands. 

“I know, I know. We don’t want to tell everyone yet… the first trimester is always the hardest, and most risky.” 

“Of course I won’t tell anyone,” she was quick to assure, but she grinned at the woman, anyway. “I’m sure that I can help, if you want. I know I’m not a medical… Well, anything, but I’ll read up.” There was a nod in confirmation, and Hermione wrapped her arms around Ginny. “I’m so happy for you two.” 

“Thank you…” Her next move was to poke Hermione’s waist, and smirk just a little at her. “And what about you? You and Sirius expecting anything?” A flame of red appeared on her cheeks, and Hermione shook her head. 

“Certainly not. We haven’t even… Well, you know. Gotta do some baby making to have babies, and we haven’t.” Ginny and her had let go by now, and Hermione started over to a different section, just browsing through the pieces of material, not even noticing their slow movement to the delicates section. Of course, when she felt her fingers hit silk, then lace, her eyes instantly were drawn to the piece, and her hand retracted, as though bitten.

“No time like the present to get it started, huh?” 

“Yeah… There’s better times.” However, her voice was too weak to be of any consequence, and  she was pulled further into the area, and she knew an argument would fall onto deaf ears. 

“Well, what is your favourite colour?”

“Ah… Periwinkle?”

“Try again, Hermione.” She bit her lip, trying to think what both her and Sirius would like. 

“Red and Gold.” They were both Gryffindors, after all. Why not? 

“Then into the magical world of lace we go.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

Their shopping ended with dresses, after a few different sets of intimates, in many different colours and styles. 

“Tell me,” Ginny said, as they walked together. “WHen are you going to pull this out on him?” 

“I don’t know. Christmas?” 

“Oh, that’s nice. Use the green one, get in the spirit.” A laugh, for them both. “And, you know, if it doesn’t get him into the mood, we can always have George come over and do it for them. And, naturally, you.” An eyebrow waggle, and the two girls broke into laughter.

“Don’t worry. If Sirius doesn’t get in the mood, I’ll apparate to George’s house, and have him get in the spirit.” Ginny wrinkled her nose a little, thinking of it. “Let’s keep that off the books, huh?” Some more laughter, and they managed to go to a small spot, one where they were able to apperate back to Grimmauld Place. They walked into the house, only to be assaulted by the men, each of them wrapping their arms around their respective partners. 

It was a bit of a starte when they were instantly wrapped up, and hermione stiffened for just a moment, before she relaxed, smelling the proper scent of someone she was comfortable with. 

“Sorry,” He murmured, having felt her stiffness, and he pressed his face to her shoulder, kissing the skin lightly. 

“Well, what did you two get?” Harry’s inquiry set Hermione's face aflame, not wanting to tell Harry what exactly they’d gotten. 

“Pornography.” Ginny managed it with a completely straight face, and Hermione snorted, proving the statement wrong. 

“You’ll find out soon enough,” was the amendment. Sirius smiled a little, and pulled away some, so his chin was resting against Hermione’s head. 

“When will I?” he murmured to her, and she grinned some. 

“Soon enough,” she replied, evading the proper answer that he was asking for. She grinned at him, and managed out of his arms, to go set the bags down near the stairs, for just a moment. 

“Sirius, Harry has something to tell you.” Hermione looked back at the two men, more or less father and son, though they could be looked at like brothers. 

“I do?” Ginny nodded, encouraging him, and she grinned. “Oh.. is it..” Another nod, and a roll of eyes, and he exclaimed a bit, in surprise. “Oh! Yeah! Sirius. I ah… Well, that is, Ginny and I are going to… Have a kid!” There was a moment of silence, and Sirius’s eyes widened. 

“Honestly?” 

“We are!” Ginny confirmed, but then paused. “Just do keep it under wraps. We’re only telling you two right now, and my mom. If we share it and I loose the baby…” 

“But you won’t,” Hermione saved. 

“No, we won’t,’ Harry continued. 

"Have you even thought of names yet?"

"Yes. Lily Jean Potter, If it is a girl, and James Sirius Potter if it is a boy.”

“Jean? Sirius? Oh, we’re honoured!” Hermione moved to the youngest,and hugged her, before kissing her cheeks. 

“You two are a very big part of our lives,” Ginny replied, a bit of a blush on her face. 

“It’s the least we could do, really.” 

“I think I need to talk with Harry,” Sirius at last managed, looking at the girls for a moment. There was a bit of an intensity in his dark eyes, and Hermione came up with an idea. 

“Let’s go put up my clothes.” It wasn’t that hard, and as Hermione stepped past Sirius, she kissed his cheek. 

Hermione and Ginny left the two, and started to take out some of the sets, putting them down, laid out on the bed. 

“Which are you going to wear tonight?” 

"Hm...I don't know. They are all good." After a few moments of deliberation, she settled on a black and green silken dress, one that covered her up enough, but still felt wonderful. 

“Only a little bit until he can see you in that,’ Ginny reminded Hermione. 

“And oh god do I hope he likes it.”

“He will. It’s covering you. He’d be stupid not to like it.” 

“Well… It is covering me.” 

“True.” A hair of a laugh, and Hermione smiled, a bit nervous. 

“You don’t need to worry.” The laughter had dried up, and Hermione looked at the serious eyes of her friend. “He may have been a playboy at one point, but I know for a fact he loves you. He’s so very in love with you. I can see it in the way he acts with you. If he didn’t love you, would he instantly look to you, when he hears your voice? Would he willingly wait for you to be ready, to ask for things, instead of him initiating things?” Hermione felt her teeth worrying her lip, and she eventually nodded a little. “You’ve gone up against the so called Dark lord, and you helped to defeat him. If it wasn’t for you, we’d be under Voldemort’s thumb, right now. Sirius would be dead. I’d gone… And yet, here you are. You’re here, and so is he. He could have his pick of any of the eligible women… But you’re the one who’s going to go to his bed tonight, aren’t you?” 

There was a little bit of a smile, and Hermione nodded. 

“You’re right. Of course you are.” She offered a small laugh, and looked down. How was she going to manage it in this silky little piece of fabric? The colour was so pretty… 

“Even if you don’t wear it, he’s going to think you’re gorgeous.” Ginny sat down on the bed, sitting just slightly different, which was understandable. 

“I know,’ she managed, and nodded. 

“Maybe you should take a risk for once. Not know. Just take a deep breath, and…” She gave half grin, playful and encouraging. “Jump.” Their eyes met, and Hermione nodded, after a moment.

“Okay.” It didn’t take much longer until they went downstairs, and Harry and Sirius looked at the two. Sirius had watery eyes, and Harry was looking at the table, chewing his lip. When Hermione walked past Harry, she rubbed his hair, to offer some support. When she was next to her current love, she moved to gently wipe his eyes, removing some of the stray tears. But, the serious air didn’t last too much longer, and after a wonderful dinner, Harry and Ginny left, which left the two occupants to pick up the dinner. Once they were both done, Hermione was drying her hands, and she looked at Sirius for a moment.

“I hope we’re still going to be in the same bed tonight,” she said, only to have a response of a gruff laugh.

“I’d go to yours, if it meant being with you.” Brown eyes met a mischievous grey, and it was pure instinct that she ran, as soon as he started to chase her. She got to the second landing, and Sirius caught her around the hand, pulling her into something like a hug. Their hands were laced, and he had an arm around her waist, pulling her body flush against his, with her arm caught between their chests.

His eyes darkened slightly with a specific feeling, and he leant in close to her, though slow enough she could pull away, or turn her head. But, she didn’t. Her face stayed to him, and their lips met with a gentle pressure. Her arm moved up, to cup his jaw, and gently pull him closer. It was just for a moment more that the kiss lasted, and Sirius pulled away just a little, their eyes meeting again. Her hand was still on face, and the other laced.

“I should get ready,” Hermione whispered, feeling their soft, yet strong breaths mingling.

“You should,” came the reply, yet there was not a movement away from her, nor did she try to pull away. Instead, she leant forward again, and they kissed again, deeper, with a heat building. It didn’t last more than five minutes, and Sirius had her pressed to the railing, his hand splayed over her back.

This time, when they broke, their breaths were harder, not at all soft. The hand on his cheek had slid back into his hair, and her eyes fluttered open.

“Can we…” 

“No,” was her instant reply, knowing the question he was going to ask. “Not yet.” Her hand slid from his hair, to his chest, offering a little bit of pressure to him, to urge him back. Though he wanted to press forward, he did pull back, and he helped her up slightly, making sure she didn’t fall.

“I’ll wait. I promise.” He took her hand, kissed the knuckles, and though he wanted to kiss more, he forced himself away.

It was only a few moments more until she managed to go to her room, wobbly on her knees. She managed to change into the dress, and go to his room, but she was steady by that time. Her mind wasn’t quite blank, and she knew that there was only her wanting to be held that night that would finish it off nicely.

When she went into his room, and found him trying to get off his shirt, she couldn't help the small laugh. He was nearly stuck, and she moved to help him out of the shirt. It was the first time she’d helped him with this, and when he turned around, he gave her a small kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

“Are you ready for bed?” She asked, moving her hands to his arms.

“Yes.” It took her just a moment to crawl onto the bed, and lay down, and she looked at Sirius, waiting for him to join her. He soon did, and pulled her into his arms, his breath once again on the nape of her neck. Her eyes closed, remembering the last night, and her head settled on the pillow. She was certainly happy to be held, and to be there, with him. To be held… It was the perfection she never thought she’d get again. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man do I need to get back on writing this hardcore again so it can be done lmao 
> 
> ok but seriously an influx in people replying to this in comments will get them to the eventual, feely smut and possible wedding-- or her running away

  
Waking up was a slow process for her. She always would wake with a sudden sense of urgency, in most days. Yet, today, she felt herself slowly waking, her body gently coming to her normal sense of peace, what she’d been getting these days. Her fingers slightly twitched, and as they did, they felt a slightly hairy chest, with warmth surrounding her arms and chest, more than a blanket would ever allow. Her eyes finally opened, and she looked up, to see the man she was currently starting to date, in an odd way. She hated to attach such a maundane word to a man who had helped her, Harry, and the other one defeat Voldemort, in so many ways. Yes, he had been gone for a portion of it, but he was a driving force, the memory of him. Her eyes closed again, yet Sirius was already up, and he looked down at her, his lips curving up pleasantly.

“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice raspy and deep, allowing her to smile, the masculinity in his presence washing over her. It was nice to wake like this, feeling safe in arms that had never held another woman for this long.

“If we’re not careful, I’m going to be late for my interview,” she murmured, knowing firmly she needed to get up, and she was going to, in just a few moments. In all of it, however, she felt his smile against her forehead, and he kissed the spot, before moving his lips down her neck, slow, sweet kisses landing on the soft skin.

“Still as responsible as the day I met you,” he murmured around the kisses, and after a moment, he moved to hover over her, allowing her room to push him off, of slip out with ease. He leant down to kiss her, however, sweetly, and she didn’t pull away. In fact, a hand went to his head, gently moving into the long, beautiful locks.

The fact he had known her when she was much younger, and he much older, was something they rarely thought of. With his de-aging and healing that had been preformed, he was physically the same age as Hermione was, or nearly about the same age, which prompted her to teasing him that he was looking lovely for being in his sixties, when she was confident enough. It was rare and far between that that happened, howeever, leaving Sirius to love the moments that it was like that.

After the kiss was broken, her sweet voice spoke up, slightly raspy, from sleep.

“As I always have been.” Her finger went to tap his nose, gentle. “You know that, don’t you?” He chuckled, and lightly bit her finger, as it had moved to brush over his lips.

“I do hope Snape will be nice on you, in comparison to school years.” Naturally, ti had been a subject, with Snape having been the same year as Sirius. He hated the fact he was a teacher, but now, they rarely seemed to have to work together. He hated the days he did have to see him, but they were mostly in relation to the mostly dissolved Order of the Phinox.

“I don’t think I’ll have to worry,” Hermione replied, but she moved to press her face into his chest for a few moments, not willing to loose the warmth from his body. “You should try and apply somewhere,” she tried to say, and he barely managed to understand it.

“If I could, I would,” Sirius replied, sad about what he was saying.

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m still known as the murderer of the Potters.”

“Barely,” Hermione said, having pulled her head up, and moved to set her chin against his chest. “A lot of people know you as a marytr.

“Not enough,” he replied, moving his hand through her hair, for only a second, as it soon got caught in her hair, leading to a yelp from her, and a laugh from him, as soon as his fingers were no longer in her hair.

“Some people don’t see me well,” Hermioned poitned out after a moment.

“But you were part of the golden trio,” Sirius replied. “That is enough for anyone to look past that.”

“You’re one of the reasons people are here,” Hermione said, a frown appearing on her lips. “It’s time for people to understand that fact, entirely.

“They will never understand,” Sirius said, slightly sad, but also accepting of his fate.

“I’m going to clear your name more officially,” Hermione said, a conviction in her voice that Sirius knew from when she was younger. He was going to have to deal with this occurring, regardless of the outrageous ways she might try to make it occur. He just knew to be afraid of what was going to be happening.

“I think it’s time for you to get to your interview.”

“It’s just formality.”

“With him, you cannot be too sure.” Her shoulders slumped, knowing he was right, and she moved to kiss his lips, gentle, a motion he was easy to return. She wanted to fall into this kiss, and allow him to do whatever he wanted, but she knew she wasn’t ready, even if they had the time together. Her hand moved to his jaw, his short beard scratching her hand slightly. It ended after a moment more, her eyelids feeling like glue, and her eyelashes fluttered open, looking up at him, taking a shallow breath. After a moment more, she gave him one more kiss, and slipped out of the bed, her actions slow and unwilling, despite the fact she knew she needed to, more than anything.

Hermione always hated going out into the real world, but this was going to be the one time she had to, and she would do so successfully, and every time after that. She was the only woman from the damned golden trio. She could brave people asking the terrifying questions, asking about Harry and Ron, as well as so many more people, and the spells she would preform... She didn’t want to answer any of them.

None of those questions were asked by Severus, he was more interested in her memory of ingredients and what could be substituted for what, as well as making her preform a simple potion, to him. He critiqued her a couple times, and that was it, but at the end he told her something amazing.

“You are one of the only people to have gotten that low of critiques. Everyone else believed they had failed the interviews, and thus, they didn’t even try in the questioning.”

“Did I...”

“Miss Granger, if you have to ask that, I am going to send you out that door.” Her smile was large, and more than a little happy at that moment.

“Thank you, Mr Snape.”

“Severus,” he corrected, smoothly. They were nearly equals, and he was going to treat his employee fairly, at the very least.

“Would you like to join me for lunch?” Severus then asked, and after a moment, she agreed.

Much came out during their lunch, including his surprising partner, Nymphadora Tonks, and Hermione’s coworker. Their conversation was soon transferring into other topics, and to the end of the lunch, she was unable to help noticing the fact he was starting to get older, just by the way he moved, and the scars over his body, that was shown. The lunch ended after a short period of time, and they headed back to the Apothecary, allowing Hermione to start her simple training, nothing she hadn’t figured before.

When she returned home, she walked to the scent of food cooking, and she knew that Kreature was working on their food. She walked into he kitchen just after a few moments of standing in the doorway, and she spoke out to the elf. He was still attrocious to her, that was for sure, and she hated that he never seemed to really like her, but he also didn’t call her a mudblood anymore, nor filthy, nor anything else that bad. He just would be rude in other ways, ways she could deal with. They never corrected him, nor did they need to tell him off, anymore. Their life together finally seemed to be coming together .

Whilst they were together in the kitchen, neither of them seemed to notice the fact taht Sirius had arrived home as well, his hat in his hand, just watching her and the elf. He leant against the door frame, and after a few moments, Hermione turned around to face him, her lips curving up and a smile appearing, bright and happy against the darkness that had been surrounding their lives.

“How was your day?” She asked, knowing that he wouldn’t lie to her.

“Made all the better that you were there,” he said, moving his arm around her waist, and after a moment, he softly kissed her lips, not a are in the world between them. When they broke it, Hermione kept her eyes closed for a few more moments, a few thoughts flitting through her head. The loudest one was one that was telling her that it had been years since Ron had touched her, and that Sirius was nothing at all like her ex, her rapist. Now, she would be ready to give Sirius everything and anything he wanted from her. She’d be willing to give him everything. “What about yours?” Sirius asked, kissing her nose, softly.

“I got the job, yet that’s not a surprise,” she said, moving her head to his shoulder for just a moment. “Snape might have hated me when I was a student, but even he knows how valuable I am.”

“Dinner is ready,” Kreature said, suddenly, breaking them out of their little world.

“Let’s eat,” Sirius said and leant down to kiss her, softly, once more. Hermione nodded, and pulled out of his arms, moving to sit at her normal spot, and Sirius to his, as Kreature served them.

Dinner was a quick affair, leading them to their shared room, and damn if Hermione wanted nothing more than her love right now.

She still had some things in her room, and tonight, she needed to find her robe, to take a shower, and she stopped in the room, slowly breathing through the stress and anxiety she had about doing this, especially with Sirius. Though she enjoyed the age gap, as it allowed her to have a level headed partner, she also knew that it was dangerous, in the public eye, to have this large of a gap. Since she had been apart of the golden trio, eyes were on her even more, and she didn’t want little girls seeing her dating someone so much older, and thinking it was okay, just because Hermione Granger did it first.

She was started when she heard Sirius’s voice behind her, and she couldn’t help the jump, nearly two feet into the air, and she turned around, her amazing ,frizzy curls spinning with immense speed, so she was able to look at Sirius.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, his hand moving to her upper shoulder, his touch careful.

“Yes, of course,” she replied, her lips curving up, showing nothing being wrong. “I just need to find my robe.”

Sirius was barely in there for thirty seconds before he found the material, the dark red complimenting the blush on her cheeks. She was acting just like a little kid right now, and it was an issue to more than her composure. She didn’t want him to think of her like a little child.

“I need to shower,” Hermione said, turning her head away from Sirius, breathing in soundly, and confidently.

“I’ll be in our room,” Sirius offered, meek as it was. She nodded, and then started off to the bathroom, enabling her to change in it. Whilst the water ran down her body, her thoughts were turned to her life, even now. She wasn’t able to escape these tormenting thoughts, no matter how much she tried to rub off their heavy feelings. Her breath came slightly quicker than what was normal for her ,and it finally clicked, all this anxiety, the very sudden irritableness, everything. She was having an anxiety attack, and it felt like ntohing was ever going to be right in the world again, if she was able to even breathe properly. She had no idea what this was about, and not even the cold wall was shaking her properly out of the anxiety she was feeling.

She was strong, and if she needed to, she could leave Sirius and everyone behind.

The thought churned her stomach, to the point she stopped entertaining it. She knew she’d be dead within a week, these days, without anyone near her. She’d fallen apart since everything had gone down, and now, she didn’t even know who she was, or who she was going to be.

She just hoped Sirius would be able to guide her for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

  
There was always a point in one’s recovery that they needed to force themselves to face what had happened, and after as many years as Hermione had let pass, she knew it was about time for her to face this. There was many things that had led her to this, of course, but most of all, she knew Sirius had been entirely faithful to her, and more than just as a reward, she wanted to show her she really did love him, even if they were strictly dating, as much of a childish term as that was.

She hadn’t told anyone where she was going, and had just informed her love that she would be home later in the night. She wasn’t ready to show him what she was getting, but that would come in time, once she felt that her body was hers again, and that Sirius was welcome to it, when they were both ready.

Her fingers traveled over silk and lace, for just a second, as she looked at the crimson and golden piece before her. It was something she never before would have looked at, but she was sure that this was what she wanted to do. She was going to show Sirius she was ready, and it just so happened that this was how.

She’d thought over these moments before, of course, and as they came, more and more, her thoughts would travel less to what happened, and what was going to happen. She hoped she wasn’t thinking he was better than what he could be, though.

“That’s going to be fourty pounds,” The woman behind the till said, breaking her from her thoughts. She smiled, and took the money out of her wallet, before taking the package and leaving. It was already six in the evening, and thank god there was an alley next to the shop, allowing her to disapperate, back to the house. The bag was rolled down, to hide the simple, elegant logo, and when she walked into the house, she was complete smiles and kind words, leaving a gentle kiss onto Sirius’s head, giving a couple words to their elf, and soon, she left to go to her room, though it was barely that anymore. the bag was set down, and she took out the clothing, letting the crimson gently set onto the comforter that was on the bed.

She really wasn’t breathing, but it didn’t help her pick up on anything more, as Sirius had perfected the art of walking silently many years ago.

“What is that?” He asked, after it was laid out, and her hands were at her sides, starting to play with the hem of her shirt. As soon as she heard that voice, however, she spun around, and immediately stepped in front of it, even though she knew he’d seen it already.

“Nothing,” she said, but he walked over to where she was standing, looking down at it. Her hand came up to his chest, and rested there, for a moment, unable to look him in the eyes.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she softly said, unable to muster anything more.

“Why?” her head moved down, looking at the ground, at the wall, anything but him, for a few moments.

“You’ve been here for so long, Sirius, waiting, day in and out, and you can’t be expected to just stay here forever. And...” A deep breath, and her eyes looked to him for just a moment, before looking away again. “I want to be ready, for you. I want to be what everyone else has, in every way. You deserve to have that.”

“Hermione,” Sirius said, his voice soft, and obviously a little worried about her. He moved over to her, taking her hands from the hem of her shirt, and he laced their fingers. He moved so his forehead was against hers, and his hands squeezed gently. “You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to, with me,” He softly assured. “I will love you regardless.” His lips moved to gently press against hers, before his hand moved to cup her cheek. “I will love you in the rattiest of clothes, to the newest, and I’ll only let you chose when you’re ready. What you went through...” He had to stop himself for a moment, feeling his anger rise in him.

“Sirius...”

“Hermione, you are your own woman. I will never tell you to do something you don’t want to do.”

“I want to,” she replied, moving both her hands to his slightly scruffled jaw, to make him look at her. “I... I want to see what it’s like, with someone who loves me, and who has my consent. You’re different than he ever was.” A blush suddenly appeared over her cheeks. “And... I’m sure that you know how to please a woman.” There was some obvious nerves in her words, but a distinct amount of conviction to help along with that. She didn’t want him to leave her, and she knew she wanted this, tonight. Her hand moved to his long hair, pulling him to her face, not yet kissing, just allowing a few moments of security.

“Please?” Her last word was whispered, providing her with just enough pity, enough conviction, for Sirius to at last agree.

“I’ll willingly do anything for you,” he replied, his voice soft, gentle, unwilling to lie to her in the slightest capability. She was his saving grace, at some times, and he would rip his heart out of his own chest if she asked him to. He just could hope she wouldn’t. After a moment, his lips moved to hers, gentle. “Alright,” he said, after the kiss. “Tonight, we will.” There was a soft smile on his lips, prompting a confident one from Hermione.

“Tonight,” she repeated, a promise. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the smut chapter, be warned

  
When Sirius found Hermione, later in the night, his eyes were immediately brought to the crimson red silk splashed against her dark brown skin, unable to stop his eyes from moving over her entire body, head to toe. It took a moment for him to manage to swallow, but when he did, he took a deep breath. His brown eyes were dark with the lust he was trying so hard to contain. He wanted nothing more than to press her to the bed, but he knew that would not be something productive with their situation.

“You look...” His words failed him, and he just shook his head, his long hair moving softly as he did.

“Thank you,” She said, after a moment. “You... “ She laughed, looking at the ground, obviously embarrassed by her state.

“Come here,” Sirius murmured, his arms opening. Everything would have to be done with her consenting, which meant they’d put in equal amounts of work.After just a moment, she did move over to him, though slightly slowly. She was nervous, despite everything. “You are breathtaking,” Sirius murmured, and kissed her hands, gently, first on the tops, then the palms.

“Thank you,” she murmured, not as nervous, but clearly still so. “Let’s go to the bedroom,” Hermione said, lightly worrying her lip. When she made eye contact with Sirius, however, he moved to pull her with him, so he could sit on the back of their sofa. His arms loosely wrapped around he waist, and he looked up into her eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he suddenly assured. “You’re going to be loved by me regardless if we do this or not.” He moved a hand to her chin, gently. “i’m not going to leave.”

A sudden sigh left her, and she leant into him, kissing him firmly, assuring him she was sure. She pulled back, after a moment.

“I want to,” she assured. “I want to, so much. I want you to have everything, and for me to, as well. “You’ll always be there for me, and you’ll stop if i need it.” A pause for a moment, so she could gather her thoughts. “I love you, Sirius Black. With all my heart.”

“I love you, too, Hermione Granger,’ he was quick to assure. “I’m never going to leave.” After his words, Sirius let his eyes start to drift down, looking down her body, and when it got to the tie of her silk robe, his eyes moved up to look at her, as he started to let it open. She shivered when the cold air hit her, prompting her to move a step closer to his warm body, her arms wrapping around her, as carefully as she was able to. Though she was the one with the troubled sexual path, his body was still frail, to a point.

“I don’t know if it’s fair that I’m just the one becoming nude,” she whispered, soft.

“Let’s move to our room,” he replied. She nodded, and moved her hand to his, but it didn’t take them long to get to their room. Once there, they paused for a moment, and Hermione closed her eyes, before laughing for a moment.

“We’re just standing around like a couple of fools,” she couldn’t help but laugh. A hand moved to her face, hiding her eyes for a moment. As she laughed, Sirius let out a slightly nervous chuckle, and he finally moved close to her, his arms warm around her. She sighed softly, and moved her face to his shoulder, moving her hands to his chest, still covered in a shirt. After a moment, they mvoed to start to open the cloth, not looking directly at Sirius, only at the buttons. It didn’t take long for her to finish the task, and her hands moved to his chest, lightly running through the hair, though there wasn’t a lot. She, honestly, prefered it like that. He seemed too much like his animagus form otherwise.

It was just a moment until one of his hands moved to hers, and he slowly pulled it up to rest on his cheek. once it was set there, he moved his hand ot her face, slowly tangling into the hair at the nape of her neck, and she couldn’t help the soft sigh that left her lips as their lips met. This was what she’d always dreamed of. Sweet, and just as kind as could be. She couldn’t help the feelings of nerves in the pit of her stomach, and her hand slowly moved from his cheek to his shoulder. After just a moment more, she pressed his shoulder back, and moved to rest her forehead on his shoulder.

“Is everything okay?” As soon as her breathing calmed, she nodded, and swallowed.

“This is becoming perfect,” she murmured, her eyes closing. relishing in the feeling. It took a moment for Sirius to reply.

“Do you want to continue?” he asked, his hand moving to rest on her waist.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Don’t stop unless I tell you to... Please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Her eyes moved to look at him, and he nodded, guiding her to the bed. It was just a moment that he pulled away from her, to slip off his shirt, yet once they were on the bed, he gently pressed her back onto it, allowing him to move over her. His hand was gentle, as he slowly moved it from her shoulder, to her hair. It was a very gentle act, and it took him a moment to lower himself down, to press against her, and she was certainly able to feel his hardness against her lower stomach. Yet, instead of filling her with dread, it filled her with an excitement she hadn’t felt in years.

It wasnt’ a moment more until she moved her hand to rest against his shoulder, gently urging him to her lips, and when they connected, her anxiety went out the window. All she could smell was his scent, and all she oculd feel was his body, every imperfect inch. Her nails were so gentle as they bit into his shoulder, ensuring that he would stay pressed against her. As another way to keep him, her other arm moved under his arm, leaving her to be nearly entirely covered by him. Nothing brought her a greater thrill than this, and she couldn’t help but squirm slightly as she felt him so tenderly pull from the kiss, to move to her neck. The breaths that left her were harsh, and quick, and this allowed her a short moment to think through if she was ready or not. She barely needed to, however, as after a moment she was sure. Her eyes closed, and she settled further into the bed.

“I don’t want this to turn into a cliche,” she murmured, the hand on his hsoulder moving to his jaw, gently urging him to meet her eyes. “But I love you. So much.”

“Hermione,” she then heard, “I want everything about this to be a cliche. Those are always happy, and that is all I want you to be.” She couldn’t suppress the smile, nor the quick moving up to peck his lips.

“I’m glad I came here, those years ago.”

“I’m more glad that you trusted me in your moments of need. I love you.” She coudln’t help her breathless laugh, and a hand moved to his chin, even as her eyes closed. His long hair brushed against her stomach, as he started to kiss down her body. She carefully slipped her arms out of the robe, leaving contact with him for just a moment. She had to, as she leant up, looking down her body at him. This was something she never wanted to let go of. He was too beautiful for her to ever let this up. There was a soft exhale, and her stomach tightened. She knew exactly where he was, hovering over her lower stomach.

“Hermione?” he murmured, looking up at her.

“Yeah?” She asked, still breathless.

“Is this okay?” She nodded, eager to respond to his question. how coudl this not be okay? He was perfect,a nd she wanted nothing more than for him to continue, to slip down her panties and... Well, continue. Her cheeks suddenly flamed, thinking of that. Sirius saw it, looking up just in time to see her hand move over her cheeks, her unruly hair helping to hide the blush. He couldn’t help his soft laugh, but his hands moved to her hips, resting just over the edge of her underwear.

“Please...” The word was barely audible, but Hermione was eager for Sirius. She arched her hips up, to give him enough room to slide them down.

“Hermione,” Sirius said, moving his arms down her legs slightly further, to hook under her knees. “If I was to just go for it now, I’d be no better. I’m going to make you want this more than you want to breathe. You’re going to properly enjoy this, as well. I promise you that.”

“I already want that,” she whispered, a hand reaching down to cup his chin. “I really... Please.”

“Not yet.”

“Sirius,” she whimpered, her top half falling back onto their bed.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, looking up at her.

“What?”

“Do you?”

“Of course. Why do you even have to ask?”

“Just wait. Believe me, it will be much more rewarding if you wait for this.” He kissed the inside of her knee, causing her to whimper, slightly loud, but she nodded. If it was her crying, he was going to get that, later.

It took just a moment for Sirius to continue to her calves, and he was softly kissing them both, with his hand running over the other. His touch was delicate, and once Hermione became used to it, he moved up to kiss the inside of her knees, then he moved to her thighs. It wasn’t too long, as he entirely missed her inner thighs, making her groan out in frustration. She wouldn’t be lying if she claimed her panties were soaked by now, leaving her knees slightly trembling. Yet, when he started to move up her body, she moved her legs around his hips, and her arms moved to his shoulders. It was a little hard for her, since she had little experience doing it, but she managed to flip them.

“Sirius... I know what you’re trying to do, but please.” She moved her lips down, to whisper into his ear. “Please, make love to me so well I forget about everything else. I want you in me all night, I want to only remember your name on my lips, for the rest of the night. I don’t care about any form of magic except what we can create tonight.”

The words were enough, and Sirius smiled at her, knowing he’d won. His hands moved to her hips, and he gently squeezed her.

“Where’d you learn to speak like that?”

“Ginny and I have been talking,” she admitted, with a blush. Sirius took just a moment to spin them back, so she was under him, and his hand moved from her hip, up her chest, to gently roll a nipple under his thumb. Hermione bit her lip, not enough to draw blood, but enough to let him know he was touching her just right.

“Well, Hermione,” he murmured, moving to kiss her throat. “I’ll give you one better than just not remembering anything else.” A small nip, though he was careful when he did that. Sue him, some dog things stayed with a human. “I’ll ensure you can’t say anything else.” He could feel her heart increase when he said that, with his nose right next to the pulse point, smelling her scent. His body moved to press against her, now, and damn he was glad she hadn’t been wearing a bra. His lips moved from her breast down her chest, to her stomach again, and here is where he laid a few, bruising bites. He was very good at that, after all, and like hell he wasn’t going to stop it. He was a dog, and they claimed their territory, very well. Just based on her increase of breath for a moment, he was going to assume she approved of his bites, as well.

Yet, it wasn’t anything compared to when he slowly slid down her panties. His fingers instantly went between her folds, not penetrating, but sliding through the wetness that was there, seeing just how much he had done by making her wait.

The action made her moan his name. His eyes were watching her, as he sat up, and just one finger moved into her, yet his lips moved to press against the area above her.

“Don’t stop,” she softly moaned out, pressing into his hand, just the one finger he was adding into her. It was gentle, and after a moment of watching her, he moved another finger into her, watching his digits as they disappeared into her. He loved how she looked, and right now, he wanted nothing but this moment to last forever. Yet, as she was using him as little more than a masturbation toy, for right now, he knew it wouldn’t last forever, which was very much a good thing. His fingers were gentle, as they suddenly curved up, and time held no meaning between then, as without warning, she spilled over the edge, and her eyes closed, stiffening, and softly moaning. It wasn’t anything he would ever forget. The first orgasm he’d ever given Hermione? It was beauty incarnate. And, with any luck, it wouldn’t be the last.

“Sirius,” she softly whispered,moving a hand to his, and she gently tugged him up to kiss her, as gentle as could be. Yet, whilst they were kissing, she moved a hand to his pants, and the moment she had a hand on the hem, he knew.

“What are you doing?” he instantly asked her, pulling away the slightest.

“Getting you to the same point as me,” she replied, pulling the zip down, and then urging his pants down, just the barest. “Please?” He knew he couldn’t say no right now. He pulled away from her, and his pants were gone, as well as his underwear.

“You’re too demanding,” he commented, though he didn’t mean a single word. No, if he was at all that malicious, he would have found a way to hit her in a place that properly hurt. Thankfully, he would never dream of hurting her. It was just a moment more until he pressed against her again, but he moved them so she was sitting above him, looking down at him from above. One hand moved to his stomach, lightly, and the other was on his shoulder, but she used them to lean down and kiss him, eager to get more contact, and he was happy to give her a little control for a few moments. He’d been intent on her pleasure a little too much, making it nearly not so for them both. His hands moved to her hips, gentle and sweet, yet still claiming.

Naturally, it was now that she shivered, too cold to be above him.

“Do you want to get under the covers?” He questioned, his hand gentle on her lower back, now.

“Please,” she replied, and pulled away from him. He was under them first, and he moved her back to about where she had been before, but this time with some heavy covers over her. The only other difference, now, was that Sirius’s cock was pressed against her folds, unintentionally making them both groan in pleasure. Hermione ground down on him, her clit rubbing against him.

Yet, despite the intense pleasure they were feeling at the moment,Sirius moved his hands to her waist, stilling her from moving, and he sat up, to press against her.

“I should have asked this earlier,” he said, arms wrapping around her hips. “Did you happen to get condoms?”

“No,” she said, and paused. “I should be starting my period soon,” she then replied. “We should be okay. It’s a low fertility time.”

“Are you sure?” Hermione nodded. Even if they did have condoms, she’d want to have him finish inside her. Eventually, she wanted a child with him, but the probability of it happening this time was insane.

“We’re going to be okay. And, since it’s with you... It won’t be the end of the world.” She leant down, and kissed him soundly. It was during this kiss that Sirius moved to press into her, for the first time, but certainly not the last. He couldn’t help his groan, as he hadn’t has sex as long as she had been there. Sure, he had jerked it, but it wasn’t the same as a warm cunt wrapping around a hard cock. He moved his face to her shoulder, and groaned into her, wanting nothing more than to be able to live int his moment for the rest of their lives.

“You’re perfect,” he murmured, pressing against her breasts, sucking a couple marks into her. They began to find a rhythm together, with them both lifting and letting her drop, but it was only enough right now. He couldn’t help moving on top of her, again, and coaxing her to wrap her arms around him, with her face pressed into his shoulder, and his lips pressed under her ear. Their words were lost in groans and moans, forcing them into nothing more than primal pleasure. It was natural that, they managed to finish within a few moments of each other, and it wasn’t the only time they managed to finish that night. In fact, there was a reason that Hermione had chosen a Saturday night for their actions, and she’d ensured no one was home.

When they at last collapsed for the night, Hermione made sure to press into his arm closer than she’d ever been before, and the scent of sex and Sirius would be enough to ensure Kreature watched the blankets in the morning, but she was so happy with what was happening between them, she didn’t care. His arms were around her tight as she could handle, and she knew if she asked, she would instantly be released, if he wasn’t too tired. She felt more than safe in his arms, and if she was able to find her way to him, over and over, she knew she would.

And, Sirius was no better. He knew he’d finished inside her too many times to count, and he really didn’t want to have a little Black running around, and he prayed they’d be lucky enough that she wouldn’t get pregnant. If nothing else, there was sure to be a spell she’d know. His fingers moved through her messy hair, and he was lucky she didn’t have it too tangled, allowing for his fingers to lull her to sleep. To imagine, if she hadn’t found herself as trusting of him as she did, they’d have more than not shared this night, she most likely wasn’t be alive anymore. That wasn’t something one would comeback from with any sense of self, and right now, he was glad she had found a way to trust him, somehow. Now, he pressed a kiss to the line of her hair, and a soft sigh was what he heard in return.

The girl, or the boy might not be the same, but they were always smart, and right now, Hermione Granger was in love with Sirius Black, and he, with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Use condoms, kids. Also, this marks my official 100k words on AO3! If you have an idea for my 50th story, please tell me, and please, please, please PLEASE LEAVE A COOMENT! Even if it's just "good job" it's going to make my life so much easier and I'll be so much mroe excited to write more   
> (I fuckign finished this at midnight please comment if you noticed wrong words or typos.)


End file.
